Love and Grace

It happened.

I spent another 6 weeks in my favorite foreign country and it feels like nothing has even happened now that I am back. I know that I will be struggling with the thoughts of "Was that even worth it?" "Did anything just happen?" and "My life feels no different than it did before. Now what?" It's crazy to think that just a few short weeks ago I was visiting Venice and Maribor and Koper and meeting new people every day. 

After being home for 5 days, I have come to know the full power of jet lag. Nothing stinks more than your body waking you up at 5 AM on its own and telling you to be in bed by 6 PM (although it's kind of helpful when you have to be at the airport by 4:30 AM). My room is just as messy as I left it, there are projects still to be done here, and my cats are just as meddlesome as ever. 

The last week of ministry was hard, to be honest. Most of the students were done with exams and classes were no longer in session. With both of those elements of combined, finding new students to talk with was extremely difficult, and every opportunity to have a follow up with a student we had previously met was very welcome. I had been meeting one person since the first week, and saying goodbye to him was difficult. Here was a guy that I had asked deep and personal questions, and he asked them back. I had seen him grow as he processed who Jesus was and what it would mean to accept Jesus as the most important person in his life. 

By the end of the trip, we initiated nearly 7,000 conversations, and 9 people came to accept Christ!*clapping for new brothers and sisters in Christ*

We increased the number of Vsak Študent key volunteers from 5 to almost 40. The movement was beginning to roll at the start of the summer, but now it's accelerating downhill. I can see God moving there in many hearts. 

But just as many things are beginning there, many things ended for me. I had my last staff-led action group (in-depth bible study led by a Cru staff person) that I will ever be in for my undergraduate career. It just hit me that I won't be leading worship 3 times a week anymore. And that's just depressing. Debrief in Salzburg was very much needed. I left Sunday Morning from Slovenia with so many feelings that I couldn't leave yet. There was still far too much to do. Being in Salzburg, exploring the city, spending hours in prayer and reflection over the past 6 weeks was so helpful. I got my bearings and realized that life back home was still happening and that I would have to engage with people that wouldn't realize what I had just done. 

The hardest part of being home is that I no longer have a set schedule that revolves around growing in the Lord and letting Him shape me in activities that center on making Him known. While catching up on sleep, playing my favorite video game, and seeing all of my friends again are great things, I just haven't much time in the word the past few days. We talked in debriefing about how Paul left the leaders of the church in Ephesus (check out Acts 20). Paul leaves them to basically grow on their own since he will not be returning to them ever again. He leaves them knowing that they will be in charge of their faith and that they cannot rely on him for everything anymore. This is the state that I am currently in.

It will be assumed that I am constantly in the word, that I am constantly growing, and that I am always doing well in my spiritual walk. This is definitely not always going to be the case, as many of you know. I have a hard time getting into the word when my environment stresses me out or when I have to fight for time with God.

But despite all of the hardness, I know that God has me :) Because I made a decision once to accept Jesus, my eternity is secured. I’m reminded of the prodigal son story and movie scene where somebody is profusely apologizing for forgetting something very important. Before the person can finish their full apology, she is cut off with a hug, and in her ear they whisper, “Don’t you dare apologize! You remembered - you came back!” 

While I get to experience coming back to Christ every morning, there are people that don’t have that joy and that pleasure. Please pray for those people. Keep them in your hearts. Or better yet, tell them about the joy that you have in Christ. I can guarantee you won’t regret it :)

Now… commence internship in the Dominican Republic! Happy birthday USA, but I’m leaving you again. I’ll be back in 6 weeks!