Week 1 (of year 2)

This year we have been doing something a bit different. It's called Connect training and I absolutely love it!
TLDR; I learned how to ask really good questions and connect on a deeper level with people this week :) It made me question how I would want to be brought to Christ, and the circumstances that I would want to create to get others to accept him as the One who loves them more than anyone else.

As a movement, Cru is really great at 2 things:
1) Leading people to the cross
2) Mentoring people once they get there

But... there is a step that is often missed. We aren't so good at discovering where people currently are in their spiritual life. So while we may know the path that we want to get people on, we typically don't know to get people from the path that they are on to the path that Jesus calls us down. In a nut shell, Connect Training is social skills 101.

We learned about 3 huge concepts in 3 days, and they are the roles that we should be playing for those that we pour our lives into.

Day 1 was "The Explorer as a Listener" and how to better develop empathy for a person. We watched several videos about stepping into other's shoes and analyzed how Leigh Anne Tuohy does this so well in The Blind Side and several other clips. We focused on a clip from Amistad about the difference between WHO someone is and WHAT someone is. Above all, we focused on better listening techniques and attitudes to take on to learn more about a person and connect with them.

"Explorers don't assume. They enter into a conversation to discover. To learn another person's story."
Give people undivided attention, especially with non-verbal cues.
Summarize and let them know what you are hearing. It doesn't necessarily mean that you agree with everything
Invite them to share more of their story and to help you understand it
Ask for permission to ask other questions about their life and if you can share your own story so they can get to know you as well

Day 2 was "The Explorer and Asking Questions" and how to ask better questions to get into people's hearts. Questions are powerful tools - they can change our perspective, how we think, and even make us reconsider our interests. Jesus was an amazing question-asker. He shied away from answering others directly, preferring to ask questions in return that shift people's focus to the underlying question originally asked. When Nicodemus asks Jesus "Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" Jesus fires back: "Why do you call me good?" It shifts the focus to who Jesus is rather than what he gives.

In the 70's, evangelists loved the questions:
"If you were to die tonight, how sure would you be that you are going to heaven?"
"If God asked you, 'why should I let you into heaven?' what would you say?"
These questions are great for getting people to where they should be  and give the asker a good description of how much a person understands the concept of Grace. But these questions don't meet people where they are in their walk. It assumes that they believe in the God of the Bible and that their idea of the afterlife follows a Christian viewpoint.

Now, these are the preferred questions:
"How satisfied are you with how your life is going and the direction your life is taking?"
"If you added god to you life - do you think that this would make your life better, worse, or would it be about the same?"
I LOVE these questions! It can lead to so much discussion about the state that people are currently living in, where they want to go in life, how they plan on getting there, and if they could change anything about their life.

Some of the sample questions that we came up with to better understand Slovenes (or anyone we don't know that well)...
"If you could change something of your past, what would you change and why?"
"Have you ever been burned or turned off by religious people? Why?"
"What is most important to you? Why?"
"If God was real, what do you think would be most important to Him? Why?"
"If you could ask God one question, what would it be?"
"If God could ask you one question, what do you think He would ask?"
"If you were to die tonight, would you want to enjoy eternal life that involves a never ending relationship with the creator of the universe?"

Day 3 (today) was about building bridges over obstacles that keep people from believing. The task of a builder is to provide bridges over and around the obstacles that keep people from coming to Jesus. Sometimes the best way is through an obstacle. And sometimes the person asking the questions is the obstacle. In general, we grouped obstacles into 3 categories: Intellectual (science, the problem of evil, God being intangible...), Emotional (fear of rejection, the presence of hypocrites, a feeling of unworth, not understanding grace...), and Volitional (a perceived lack of freedom in Christ, apathy towards surrender, unwilling to give up something they currently like for something better...)

Building a bridge doesn't always mean having a great answer to a question. Sometimes it can mean empathizing with a person who is facing a barrier, and guiding them with simple and different questions around that barrier in a way that keeps their character intact. A common wall that we have to get over is the intangibility of God. Most people want to be able to touch God. To be able to see Him and His miracles with their own eyes, feel him with their hands, hear him clearly with their ears. And we ask them if they think God would ever do that (spoiler - he did. For 33 years. The dude's name was Jesus).

The key principle: An effective bridge begins where the person is at and ends with Jesus and connects the two effectively.

Tell me what you think about this training or if you have any other good questions you know to get to know a person!